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26 July 2006 @ 01:30 am
I am now 22. I have unfortunately found myspace. I work, go to school, live with the boyfriend and find not-so-fulfilling adventures in Seattle. I am at Peace with the world. Life could always be worse.

That is all for now.
Current Music: bittersweet symphony - the verve
09 January 2006 @ 09:22 pm
Everything right now is utterly chaotic. Things are good, things are bad, things are frustrating, things are tiresome, things are progressive: things are chaotic. I can see the big bang coming now. I can see things are going to strain and begin to grow, which way will they twist? what am I going to learn from this? Where else can I go?
Current Mood: hungryhungry
Current Music: 3 Libras- APC
In the last week I have seen my best friend (who apparently has shaved the sides of her head and pierced her nose), gone to see awesome trio raspuntina (thanks for the recommendation drana), gone to several parties, went for a soul walk with new friend from work and then went tanning with her, saw a burlesque show, stayed at home and watched this awesome series on dvd with my bf, dyed my hair and let it go curly, got lost at the uw, worked 40 hours, went to a big family event with colin, cleaned and decorated my house to make it utterly beautiful, was told by my drunk co-worker that he has thought of sleeping with me, had a huge birthday bash, had my very first drink - although all i did was take a sip, went shopping and then met the possible other love of my life but didnt flirt back with him because I am a. oblivious and b. in love with an already amazing man.

I believed I could, that I would find my way and get what I knew I needed to work on the most....it is just so nice to find that things have come to fruition, that I have come to be more like the woman I want to be....and that all I had to do was look inside me for my true desires, and to, more importantly, let others do the same, to peer insde to see who I truly am.
Current Mood: awakeawake
Current Music: in musicals-bjork
30 November 2005 @ 08:29 pm

1. KinderGarten Teachers name: Ms. Cranie

2. Last person you kissed: Colin

3. Last word you said: too

4. Last song you sang: 1000 miles- by those scotish twins with the glasses

5. Last person you hugged: myself

6. Last thing you laughed at: me prancing in my hallway

8. What's in your CD player: plans -deathcab for cutie

9. What socks are you wearing: none

10. What's under your bed: nothing, my bed is on the floor-- the boxspring?

12. Current taste: orange juice

13. Current hair style: dark, wavy and pinned loosely all over my head

14. Current clothes: a tight black tank top, and colin's boxers

15. Current Job: barista

16. Current longing: to be the person I see within my head

17. Current desktop picture: a block of solid turquoise

18. Current worry: vaccination forms before registration and my cali title before seattle cops

19. Current hate: all the crap in the house, the lawn covered in leaves

20. Story behind your username: I have the pension for saying the obvious when explaining things, or analyzing something...somewhere along the way my mom started calling me it, and it has stuck. It has a theme song and everything too.

21. Current favorite article of clothing: my new red sneakers

22. Favorite physical feature(s) of the opposite sex: strong arms....swimmer's back to butt ratio

23. Last CD that you bought: plans - dcfc

24. Favorite place to be: on vacation, some place exotic

25. Worst: at my grandma's house

26. Time you wake up in the morning: 3:58 am baby

27. If you could play a new instrument, what would it be? the bass...or the guitar...or the piano...or the synthesizer...

29. Current favorite word/saying: holy frijoles

30. Favorite book: (too many) the fountainhead by ayn rand

31. Favorite Movie: (right now) the bbc miniseries of pride and prejudice

32. Favorite top2 Bands and Songs: (it has been three minutes and i am still here trying to decide)....rage, bjork, tool, uh abba....

34. One person from your past you wish you could talk to again: sarah

35. Favorite day: tuesday

36. Where do you want to go: italia.......spain

37. What is your career going to be: hopefully, art therapist

39. What kind of car will you have? a burly truck that will go in the mud and stuff, but will still look pretty

41. A random lyric: I wanna fuck you like an animal

42. Eye Color: blue-grey-green

43. Hair Color: dark brown/black

44. Righty or Lefty: bothy

45. Zodiac Sign: aries

46. Innie or Outtie: innie


47. Your heritage: I am a cluster fuck of culutral origins you could say...but german and italian are dominate in my makeup and upbringing.

48: Shoes you wore today: black chuck taylor's

49. Your hair: always an adventure

50. Your weakness: having both too high and low expectations of the world and myself

51. Your fears: looking back on my life and seeing that I havent lived up to my potential

53. Your most recent secret: I have a crush on this cute girl named JOsephine

54. Your thoughts first waking up: what time is it? I must listen to music

55. The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: voice!

56. Your bedtime: whenever

57. Your most missed companion: adrianna...my MOM

58. Your perfect pizza: extra cheese, jalepenos and pineapple

59. Sweet and Chewy or Salty and Crunchy: sweet and chewy

60. Single or group dates: uh, what are we talking about here?

61. Dogs or Cats: dogs

62. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither thank you

63. Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

64. Cappuccino or Frappuccino: I hate to say it, but frapps

65. Smoke: ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I will always be from cali: smoking is gross!

66. Curse: see above

67. Sing: all the time

68. Take a shower everyday: I get up at 4 in the morning....sometimes I just cant get myself to do it....

69. Have a crush: maybe

71. Think you've been in love: yes!

72. Want to go to college: I could go to school forever.....only if it wasnt so expensive and/or I had someone to pay for it.

73. Want more than what you’ve got: yes

74. Want to get married: I am not sure if I believe in it, but then, when I imagine finding happiness it is always with someone who I couldnt imagine not spending the rest of my life with, someone I marry.

75. Type w/ your fingers on the right keys: ydx

76. Think you're attractive: sometimes

77. Think you’re a health freak: no!

78. Get along with your parents: yes!

79. Play an instrument: I play a great air drumset


80. drink: alcohol - no, other - duh.

81. Smoke: no

82. Done a drug: nope

83. Made Out: mmmmhmmm!

84. Go on a date: yes

85. Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no, although that does sound good.

86. Eaten sushi: no

87. Been dumped: I have been dump free this year....my entire life actually

88. Made homemade cookies: yes

89. Been in love: yes

90. Gone skinny dipping: no

91. Dyed your hair: yes, numerous times

92. Stolen anything: no


93. Had too much to drink: no

94. Been caught cheating: no

95. Been called a tease: yes

96. Gotten beaten up: kinda

97. Changed who you were to fit in: hasnt every one....just a little bit

98. Cried at something beautiful: yes

99. Spent too much money on something you didn’t need: of course, but not very often

100. Cried when someone died: yes
Current Mood: mellowmellow
Current Music: electric avenue
18 November 2005 @ 07:29 pm

We took each other at 3 in the morning and then I went to work. I made insane money today, was given the greatest compliment, and was randomly called just to be told that I am loved. I sang, drove and slept - soundly until 6:31. Now I await my borfriend's special macaroni and cheese, cuddling (maybe even some groping) and a good movie. I will sleep again and relish the fact that I have a whole two days to spend with the one I love.
Current Mood: surprisedsurprised
Current Music: penguins in the desert -dredg
15 November 2005 @ 07:49 pm
I have been, daretosay, socially active. There have been parties and social invites by coworkers. It's nothing big, but it is just nice to come out of my box, have some real fun, and feel like the possibilities to develop friendships are available to me......I like to think that I may be acting a little bit my age, being accepted as who I am, and finding myself a niche in this city, that has for what seems for an eternity, been making me feel as drab as its rain. This is nice feeling.

In other news, it is official, I am a Husky. I start school in January. I am super excited. * I am also going through classes for work. I have been promised a raise and a promotion by my boss. This should be coming up within the next few weeks. More money is awesome...especially doing a job, on a team that I really love being on. I am so happy that everything at work is working out. There really is serendipity to some things!* I miss my momma a lot, but she might be coming in Febuary. I can't wait to show her this town. I absolutely Seattle (although the people are a bit icy), and want to show her the place that I see as being my home for a loooong time. * I am still and very much in love with my boyfriend. We have been working on US. Things feel so much better!

I feel, although extremely tired (I cant stop sleeping in my spare time), that life is really good right now. Nothing is in extreme, everything is balanced, and you know what, I really like that. Equilibrium? Homeostasis? What a concept?
Current Mood: peacefulpeaceful
17 October 2005 @ 10:33 am
Colin and I celebrated our first year anniversary in La Conner, a quant artsy town in Northern Washington. There I was treated to feet and hand treatments, THEN an hour long deep tissue massage. We then went to our room, and jumped into the two person jacuzzi tub. We ate dilletante chocolate truffles, and sipped cold apple cider out of flutes. We had a terrific dinner and slept beautifully in the big comfy bed. We drove back, a nice car ride (both ways) and came home more relaxed than either of us have been in a long time....for me, years. It was quite the treat, and I am thankful that I have the type of boyfriend who would take the time to arrange such a thing within such a limited time frame (I had to work). The fact that he went to such lengths, even to call my work to arrange the day off, so it would be a true surprise, is something very special....

I love him very much.

Does it seem like I am trying to convince myself (how much I do)?
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Better Man - Pearl Jam
13 October 2005 @ 06:23 pm
The move into this house has made me feel so incredibly alone. Somehow its symbolism has made a tear at my want for this life, this relationship and everything I am doing, and yet, I cannot imagine a more "ideal" life. This is exactly what I should and think I do want....yet, then maybe the problem is that I am too caught up in everything to think of an alternative to this lifestyle. All I know is that I love my new job, admire and wonder at my boyfriend and his seemingly undying love, like the house, the drive to work and downtown,and living in the one of the best towns ever, Seattle.... Maybe it is the lack of zest, and in saying that I feel that I have turned into the very forty year old that I self accuse Colin of being. There is no adventure or constant laughter in my life. No great stories to tell. No flowers brought home to me at random. No passion. I feel dead within my life and that this house is gonna be the outlet to it. I am going to obsess about every decorative detail, its cleansiliness and the yard. It will become my world, and I will be shallow within the confines of my limited outlet. I am scared of what could BECOME....

I shaved off my eyebrows last week...and Los Lonely Boys and their music need to be banned forever....and enough with the new Green Day songs: September has ended now can hearing that song end too? And why the fuck is it necessary to celebrate something if it is going to be done without any meaning....

oh my god, what is happening to me?!
Current Mood: morosemorose
Current Music: Precious Things - Tori Amos
13 October 2005 @ 12:07 pm
I love my new job, and although things are in steady transition (new manager -yet again- and maybe some more new faces) I feel that it will all be for the best. I can't wait to be a lead, a master of my craft. The new manager promises she will make me as I ask. I am so frickin excited...plus, guess what? I am making friends...I think. As bizarre as that may be, I really think I might be learning those skills...ahhh.
Colin and I had a very long talk, and although things aren't perfect, we are still apt to work on them. If anything, we can talk with each other about anything. I know things will be better....We are in process of celebrating our year's anniversary - even if we are both in debate as to exactly when that date might be.
Current Mood: artisticartistic
Current Music: joga - bjork
Today I paint. I am painting our office orange zest with a white trim and a toffee ceiling. Our bedroom is gonna be a deep coffee brown with alternating cream white. I am not sure if we are gonna paint our ceiling red/burgandy or not yet in that room. I think the linens will be red and eggplant in that room.

Next after that is painting our movie room, and the spare bedroom, and the bathrooms.....when that is done, I am gonna redo the entry way tile, the mantle downstairs, then the flooring in the kitchen and the master bath. those last things are not immediate things of concern, but would help alot with the feel of the house...

We also need to figure out how to furnish this place.....and I get to work on the gardens. I am so excited.

Being a homeowner is tiring...ha...and we havent even moved in yet. Hehe
Current Mood: lovedloved
Current Music: soul meets body - deathcab for cutie